Retirement Age Mess

There you go! Pension age to go to 70 by 2035....its official. But, hang on, the baby boomer bubble will just about be over by 2050. Why, because they will be dead! So altering the age won't make any difference to the budget "emergency" we are supposed to be suffering right now. By 2035 I'll be in my late 80's, if still around. The older children of baby boomers will be in their mid 60's. Sorry kids, you will need to keep working until you are at least 70 (just like you're dad will anyway). You guessed it. You've been Abbotted!

http://www.canberratimes.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/retirement-age-rise-to-70-by-2035-joe-hockey-announces-20140502-zr318.html

Even the Mighty Can Believe!

     BHP Billiton chief executive Marius Kloppers announced today that he favoured moving to a carbon tax regime as a means of placing a price on carbon. His announcement caused much consternation in both business and political circles, although it was supported by Professor Ross Garnaut. Some, however preferred the ostrich approach!


The Abbott frowned, then shook his head,

"What is that man doing?

He's sprouting forth about a carbon tax,

His reasoning suspect and seriously lax!"

The Abbott just sat there spewing!

King Brown perked up and looked around,

"I can't believe what I'm just hearing!

The BHP head is a greenie at heart

With a price on carbon he wants, now, to start!"

And King Brown commenced some stirring.

Election 2010 - V Day Plus 17 - Closure Part 2

The Battler's commentary on the 2010 Australian Federal Election is to close.  It has been great fun and I hope it has been enjoyed by those who read the regular contributions.  I would like to thank all those who followed the campaign with a little help from the Battler, with a special thanks to the large number of followers on Twitter and their R/T's.

The Battler's Election has had its day
As it fades now into history,
A commentary of a Nation pleading,
To be noticed would be a victory.

The people have spoken and made their choice
While angered by what was served,
Determined their voice be loud at last
Blood running strong, their passion stirred.

So be it understood by those few elected
Both major parties were clearly rejected!

Election 2010 - V Day Plus 6 - Still Waiting!

The Gang of Five reduced to three,
Then back to five again,
Depending if you count the Green,
Which might make four, just then!

But number four is not quite sure
Just how to play this game,
Though, as the new chum he's keen to make
His mark within the frame.

Yet, with all this did we notice four Diggers who left the stage,
More Aussie tears to spoil the ink upon this page!

Election 2010 - V Day Plus 1 - Gang of Five.

We all know the result so far, a hung parliament.  Does that mean the people won?  Perhaps it does, we must wait to find out.

After all that happened these last five weeks
With policies, pledges and random leaks,
Comic interludes by ex PMs,
Is this how the election ends?

Its a draw, or at least, just about;
Neither party had enough clout
To clearly win the vital day
So 'tis the piper they must pay.

Now its up to the gang of five
To keep our nervous hopes alive!

Election 2010 - V Day Minus 0! Polls Closed!

Just a few minutes and the polls will close.
Who will win, nobody knows!
With bated breath the people wait
For a sign, a tweet, to reveal their fate!

The night descends and friends will gather,
Candidates, exhausted, but nerves still a lather;
Political experts poised to voice
Expert opinion on the peoples' choice.

Quietly now, tele on, we await the show,
So crack a tinny, pour a wine -get on with it, let's go!

A Policy Bone To Chew, At Last!

Opposition Leader, Tony Abbott, today announced his $3.1 billion health plan.  Of course, many will recall Abbott's performance as Health Minister.

A policy, writ bold at last!
Abbott gives "Health" a blast!
From deep within the Liberal cavern
A plan, big ticket, for us to fathom.

The people, pulsating, paused with relief
Perhaps now, a chance to sharpen belief.

And as we study and search with glee
How the "Health" hiatus might be set free,
We might just recall a Minister for Health
Who dissected and diced his ministry by stealth!

Abbott Bans Babies (Liberal Policy)

As the 2010 Australian election machine gets under way, Opposition Leader, Tony Abbott, has reiterated Liberal Party policy to place a cap on population growth. Perhaps poor Tony hasn't thought of all the consequences.

"China has a one child policy
And we will allow one, too.
One for Mum, but none for Dad,
Ah, no more, ah, one must do.

Now, you know I am of Catholic faith,
Where reproduction strongly ranks,
So it is sad that I must say it, boys,
Snip, snip...you must shoot blanks!"

Thus spoke the Abbott at election,
His policy is to ban erection!