The Battler's Aussie Election

NEWS FLASH

The Battler's adventures during the recent Australian election is now available as a book at Lulu.com

The whole collection is now in one, easy to follow resource, available as a book, or as a download.

Election 2010 - V Day Plus 17 - Closure Part 1

Today, 7 September 2010, is the day that a decision was made by the three independents as to who would be Prime Minister.  This decision, some seventeen days following the vote, was the result of some very hard work by all participants.  They should all be commended.

Across the nation there was agitation,
You could smell it in the air.
The tension of sublime anticipation,
This day a decision to declare!

The Three Wise Men did meet again,
To frame their point of view,
One declaring for the Abbott, then
The Ranga surged ahead with two!

This is the way our Election ends, neither whimper nor banging loud,
And the patient Men of Wisdom have served the nation proud!

Election 2010 - V Day Plus 16

Why are we waiting?  I guess we know the answer to that.  There is no doubt that the Independents are doing what needs to be done.  Its a task they didn't seek or expect, but they do seem to have lifted for the game.  Pity others haven't been so obliging!

The Abbott puffed out his chest
The Three Wise Men to be abused.
"How can you contemplate that leftist lot,
When to us you should be fused!"

The Three Wise Men just shook their heads,
Moving forward without a fumble,
Ignoring the pathetic, pouting and posturing
Of Pride before its stumble.

Meanwhile, the Ranga in private forum
Lined up her ducks with quiet decorum.

Election 2010 - V Day Plus 6 - Still Waiting!

The Gang of Five reduced to three,
Then back to five again,
Depending if you count the Green,
Which might make four, just then!

But number four is not quite sure
Just how to play this game,
Though, as the new chum he's keen to make
His mark within the frame.

Yet, with all this did we notice four Diggers who left the stage,
More Aussie tears to spoil the ink upon this page!

Election 2010 - V Day Plus 1 - Gang of Five.

We all know the result so far, a hung parliament.  Does that mean the people won?  Perhaps it does, we must wait to find out.

After all that happened these last five weeks
With policies, pledges and random leaks,
Comic interludes by ex PMs,
Is this how the election ends?

Its a draw, or at least, just about;
Neither party had enough clout
To clearly win the vital day
So 'tis the piper they must pay.

Now its up to the gang of five
To keep our nervous hopes alive!

Election 2010 - V Day Minus 3! - Debate, Or Whatever, Done & Dusted!

The somewhat unexpected second forum, held in Brisbane, is over.  There is no doubt in this Battler's mind that both political leaders have run a gruelling race with dignity and courage.  Regardless of our political view, perhaps we should be thankful that we have leaders who have been so willing to give so much of themselves.

So, now they've had the final forum,

As the end approaches of this election race.

The leaders performing with defined decorum,

Acknowledging their public with style and grace.

Midst the hew and cry of electioneering,

They have stood above the baying crowd;

With respect from fickle foe and friends believing,

And party faithful standing proud.

We, not exposed to political fury,

Hold their fate, both judge and jury.

Election 2010 - V Day Minus 4! - Another Debate....

It would seem that another election debate is on its way.  Oh well....

Hooray! Another debate forthcoming

Or, at least, its on the cards.

More fuel for pencil and cartoonist skill,

More fun for cranky, part-time, bards.

Will we suffer just thirty minutes,

Or will we cop an hour?

Will it be a public hall discussion,

Or an economic punch-up, each the other to devour?

Bring it on folks, get it under way,

But be assured 'tis we, who have the final say!

Election 2010 - V Day Minus 5!

This is the first day of the final week and already we have seen the Labor official campaign launch, together with a bundle of new promises from the major parties.  It probably won't end here.

So quiet, the breaking of the dawn;

The people innocent of the coming storm

To chase them, screaming, from their beds,

Media blaring in their heads,

Newsprint all scattered on the lawn,

"Sssh! The kids are up. I shouldn't have sworn!"

And as the sun peaks over trees and sheds

The people await the policy dregs!

But this is the week that requires some thought

Lest our vote, uncaring, is cast for nought!

Oh Sweet Ecstasy - A Double Dose of Delicious Policy!

At long, long last both the Opposition and Government put forward a couple of policies that touched on areas slightly more important than the usual pork barrelling.  I have become so excited with this strange duel development, that I may need to present two offerings for your edification and enjoyment.

Prime Minister Gillard offered a commitment to fully implement the Murray-Darling Basin Authority's water plan to assist in restoring the health of that ailing river system.

Like a long brown snake it wanders,
From the mountains to the sea;
Slowly now, without much zest,
Not the beast it used to be.

Mighty red-gums stand in fearsome struggle
So desperate to survive,
While wetlands wither and recede
Perhaps too shattered to survive.

So now we'll buy the water back, the river to restore
And keep our fingers crossed, in hope, the people they'll not ignore!

____________________

Meanwhile, the Opposition, having previously stated their distaste for the Government's National Broadband Network, offered their alternative plan.  This was announced as "...more than $6b....".  In actual fact, it adds up to almost double at $11.8b.

Sadly for the Opposition, their Andrew Robb had a conversation on ABC's "AM" program (transcript here) many hours before their broadband policy announcement.  In part, it went like this...

"ANDREW ROBB: There is no confusion on our side of politics on this issue. We have got savings, fully costed and presented, at $28.5 billion and we have got expenditure of $25.5 billion fully costed and fully presented. 

That is a difference, over and above the costs and expenditure, of $3 billion.

LYNDAL CURTIS: And will that gap stay or are you going to commit to spending some more money during the remainder of the campaign?

ANDREW ROBB: We're committing to both spending some more- a little amount more money and also to identify more savings. So we'll give you the final figure long before the election."


That looks to me like a total spend on promises of $37.3b, which leaves a deficiency of a mere $8.8b above their stated savings.  Oh well, its only an election after all, and I wasn't very good at maths.


While I wasn't very good at maths
I could multiply and add,
Because of which I could "take away"
And at division I was quite dab.


Now,  Andrew made it very clear he had $3b left,
After adding in their savings and deducting what they spent.
This afternoon the bill went higher, for Internet you know,
Which leaves his promised surplus battered and badly dent.


So now twelve thousand workers are heading for the sack
And we get basic broadband, with the budget deficit back!

Today we have seen Rudd & Gillard bury the hatchet and Abbott make more noise about refugees and Nauru, ahead of his "campaign launch" on Sunday.  Two weeks to go....and perhaps Tony Abbott may have been thinking....

"Ruddy hell, Kev's back on the job!
Him fronting up with Julia? I wouldn't have bet two bob.
Now I'll need something new
Mmm, perhaps those reffo's and Nauru!

But hark! its Sunday looming
And I must get on with grooming
Policy, perfect in preparation
For the launch and our salvation!"

Rudd and the Ranga in Queensland sat
For photographs, coffee and to chew the fat.

A Policy Bone To Chew, At Last!

Opposition Leader, Tony Abbott, today announced his $3.1 billion health plan.  Of course, many will recall Abbott's performance as Health Minister.

A policy, writ bold at last!
Abbott gives "Health" a blast!
From deep within the Liberal cavern
A plan, big ticket, for us to fathom.

The people, pulsating, paused with relief
Perhaps now, a chance to sharpen belief.

And as we study and search with glee
How the "Health" hiatus might be set free,
We might just recall a Minister for Health
Who dissected and diced his ministry by stealth!

Bland Election and Fan Mail

     Its nice to receive fan mail, whatever the tone.  I mean, at least you know someone is out there, someone who cares.  Of course, sometimes one's own technical incompetence adds to the flavour of comments received, thus no surprise when the "Twitterverse" delivered this comment:
"@abattlersview You've tweeted about your meager article three times in the last fifteen minutes now".

So sorry for these ditties, meagre
With lines of ten, and not much class,
A modest reflection of an election, drearier,
Than any before that's come to pass.

No plans to inspire, or perhaps enlighten,
To provide sweet hope for the years ahead!
No plans that inspire a poet to brighten
Terse verse born of fear and looming dread!

The poet, poised, with pen and paper
With pensive purpose plans another caper.

Population Policy The Abbott Way

The news of the day today was the Opposition announcement of changes to its Parental Leave policy.  These changes were announced by Opposition Leader,Tony Abbott, who also announced the earlier version  in March.  Given Mr Abbott's interpretation of the truth, as revealed by him on the 7.30 Report, one must wonder!

Ah, Tony, Tony, Tony,
Was your first go at Parental Leave
Off the cuff and just a phoney?
Or was it intended to deceive
Midst no discussion with Liberal Cronies?

So, now we're blessed with Version Two,
Perhaps this time on paper written.
Different levy and start date new
(Business mates, not exactly smitten!).
A population policy midst the cry and hew.

Look At Me, Look At Me!

Today, we heard of the new approach by PM Gillard to "show her real self".  We also enjoyed comments from Tony Abbott that "the real Tony Abbott had been on display for 16 years".
(http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/08/02/2970477.htm )
Ah well....................

Look at me, look at me, look at meeee!
Please don't treat me with derision,
I am the prophet of revision
For a government that lost its vision.
Look at me, look at me, look at meeee!

Look at me, look at me, look at meeee!
I'm the good bloke who sets the pace,
Like a great athlete in a race,
With budgies smuggled, hmmm, and no disgrace!
Look at me, look at me, look at meeee!

Back To The Past, Perhaps?

     There has been much discussion during today's electioneering regarding the National Broadband Network.  The government released details of enhanced plans for the roll out of the fibre optic infrastructure, together with updated maps relating to the project.  There was also repeated reminders of Opposition Leader Tony Abbott's promise to dismantle the project , should he win the forthcoming election.

     Although this subject has been mentioned in these pages already, the issue is of such national importance that it is worthy of further comment.  This will probably not be the last time!

     During today's reporting, I was reminded (somehow??) of a much earlier telecommunication service.  During the 1950's, I lived with my parents and siblings in the Sydney suburb of Brighton le Sands.  We were blessed with a telephone, the number of which I have never forgotten.....

Sydney 'phone number, 1950's, LX6180;
Black baker-lite handset, pretty flash, LX6180.
"Long distance, please," calling out of town, "This is LX6180."
"What's that? Speak up!" Calling Brissie, long distance, you know.

Facebook, MySpace, YouTube, Twitter,
Google, Yahoo, Blogspot, Flikr,
Gmail, Hotmail - its email and quicker,
Phone the world - no cost - what a ripper!

Copper lines gone, fibre on the go,
Tony gets in, we're back to LX6180!

Sex, Politics and Religion

Over the last couple of days, by far the most enchanting story to emerge from this election season has been the reported attempt by the Australia First Party to seduce the Australian Sex Party.




"Hello, is this the Australian Sex Party?
I'm from Australia First and would like to have a chat.
Could we meet for a cup of coffee
To talk a little, of this and that?"

"Now, perhaps we can discuss positions,
You know, how we could get together,
Share a little of how we can help
Each other be joined in this endeavour?"

Australia First then cried in shame,
Screwed by experts, themselves to blame!

Whisper, Whisper.............

     I am not a journalist! So, I guess it is a little cheeky of me to discuss the performance of journalists.  Nevertheless, since I and many of the rest of us read the work of journalists, some critical comment does not seem unreasonable.

     A highly respected member of the Canberra Press Gallery has recently raised two issues during questioning of Prime Minister Gillard.  Most of you will be aware of the matters to which I refer (links above).  These issues related to matters that any politician, depending on their allegiance at the time, would consider confidential.  So confidential, in fact, that it would be highly unlikely to elicit any revelation in response to questioning.

     The simple fact of the matter is that there was never any possibility of the "right" answer being provided.  Why? Simply because there is no proof on the public record capable of establishing the truth, or otherwise, of the matters raised.

     The highly respected journalist posed questions that may, or may not, have been sourced from reliable and verifiable information.  The journalist proffered no follow up question that could have suggested strong evidence supporting, what amounted to, allegations.

     I have no problem, whatsoever, with a politician being "outed" for misleading or inappropriate conduct.  There must, however, be verifiable proof when such allegations are made.  The posing of questions, in truth innuendoes, without the ability to provide evidence that turns innuendo into fact, is not only unprofessional, but also profoundly political.

     This style of behaviour, from persons of immense journalistic authority, serves only to lower the standard of an already mediocre election campaign.  It also deepens, further, the public distrust of a profession upon which we so heavily depend as protectors of our democracy.

_______________________

Whisper, whisper, nod and wink,

Don't look now in case you blink,

While we're watching, waiting for the tip

That little leak, the subtle drip!

This is an election and anything is just,

Revealing a fault or a policy bust;

Any little thing, to hell with the truth,

Give me something that will hit the roof!

The campaign stumbles toward the day

When the people, confused, might have their say!

The Great Debate - Done and Dusted

So, the great debate is finished

And, perhaps, we're not quite so diminished

For having viewed and quietly listened

To the Leaders, newly christened,

In the tradition of election-time debate.

Of course, adjudicators must surely comment

And words will flow a-torrent,

Midst the muddle and confusion all about;

Whilst we, quite humble, beset with raging doubt,

Raise a glass and humbly stumble, toward our fate!

The Great Debate - Almost

"Prime Minister Julia Gillard and Opposition Leader Tony Abbott will tonight go head-to-head in the only televised debate of the election campaign.

The hour-long debate will be held at the National Press Club in Canberra with both leaders facing questions from a panel journalists after making a short opening statement."  ABC News

The Great Debate is almost here,

No doubt to enhance electoral cheer.

Will it inform, or perhaps enlighten,

Or will it work to dull and frighten

A people poised to place a vote,

A people ready to choose, or smote

Those who rule and demand more taxes

While punching "porkies" by email and faxes,

And drive us up the bleedin' wall?

Ah, we wait, excited, for our leaders to enthral!

A Clunker Of An Idea

ABC News reports that Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, today announced plans to pay cash as an incentive for people to get rid of their old vehicles.

When making the announcement in Brisbane, Ms Gillard commented that "People will go to their car dealership they will negotiate, get the price that they can get for their new car, their rebate will be paid when their old car is scrapped," she said.

"The dealer will be responsible for doing that. We will have Aus Industry oversighting this."

They used to be called "rust buckets",

Now "clunker" is their name

And they are now, to one and all,

The new weapon in the climate game!

"If we get these clunkers off the road

And replaced with something new,

We'll reduce our carbon by huge amounts

(And boost new car sales, too!)."

And so, thus led by those without conviction,

We shuffle off toward extinction.